Let's Pretend This Never Happened

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JENNY: So you're making a decision to not save someone's life on the off chance that it might be inconvenient if you turn into a less efficient zombie? I loved this CD. I just adored it. Only, I want to fire the sound engineers because SERIOUSLY, people, you HAVE to remember that sometimes readers will be listening to these audiobooks in their cars and they will be driving through busy intersections so it is a very terrible idea to put the sounds of honking traffic on the CD! That was a deplorable decision, sound engineers, and I would have your job for scaring the hell out of me like that if I could. Funny, raunchy, and unexpectedly uplifting… Let’s Pretend will leave you hoping that Lawson’s next book happens and soon.”— People

i heard an interview with jenny lawson on npr and she was really interesting. i had read some of her blog and it was funny, so i got the book Lawson’s mother was a great believer in the idea that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. She took this to the extreme by bathing her children in radon-poisoned well water. Although Lawson questioned her mother’s logic, she sees now that if she could survive these deadly baths, she can survive anything life throws at her.

Jenny Lawson just gets me. And you know, I don't even remember what prompted me to read this? I remember I specifically wanted an audiobook because this has been my first year to really listen to them. If you've internet stalked me at all, you know my sister and her fam live a four hour drive from me. (and if you don't internet stalk me, you're missing out on quality cat pictures.) So audiobooks have been my saving grace.

Mimi’s Tales of Terror by Junji Ito – Nine true stories and urban legends brought to you by the master of weird horror. It covers mini vignettes of her life from childhood, through high school, marriage, and children, and each story is crazier than the last! Because you are defined not by life's imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. And because there is joy in embracing - rather than running from - the utter absurdity of life.”And, again, the random and bizarre music, the random and bizarre sound effects...it's just poorly executed and after those blaring horns while I was in the intersection...well, I'd like to see those sound people poorly executed, too. I could not be more different from Jenny Lawson - taxidermied animals scare me, for one thing. Though not as bad as mannequins. Pandemic Recommendation I forgot how much fun I had with this book. If you are in need of some laughs and lighthearted moments this might be just perfect right now. Revisiting this book was essential to me because I distinctly remember the part where Jamie tries to die her hair blonde and it ends up... not blonde... and the accompanying sketch of Jamie looking into the mirror with an expression of bulgy-eyed horror as being the peak of comedy for me. I felt the same about the part where Jamie grumbles that everyone would start wearing underwear on their head if Angeline did. For some reason, the reason most likely being a steadily increasing laziness in my general reading habits, I think I only read books 1 and 2. And but then there are also episodes like her dog turning into a zombie, the time she went to her husband's company party with no underwear on (a fact which did not escape public notice), a hunt for a hidden burial ground in her neighborhood, childhood anecdotes of her father surprising her with a hand-puppet made from a dead squirrel, wild geese following her to school, and having to artificially inseminate a cow, as well as a million preposterously hilarious conversations between her & her husband, who make up the most lunatic and outrageously perfect pair.

And I know what you’re thinking… five generations of women? Isn’t that hard to follow? And it would be if the characters weren’t incredibly unique and well-rounded. Also, one of them is a bison. And that is where the problem with this book lies: the author bores us with limitless stories of wild animals, which, once you've read through 3 you've read through them all. And as if that isn't bad enough - she constantly tries to reinforce how outrageous or funny every anecdote is, and more often than not literally forces you to find her writing funny. There's no subtlety, humorous undertones because every story, her thoughts on it and much more is brazenly penned down - leaving nothing to the imagination (which for me is the worst kind of writing). The Dear Dumb Diary series is written by Jim Benton, the creator of the infamous unofficial mascot of the early 2000's to preteen girls with an attitude everywhere, Happy Bunny. That's where you know you're already off to a good start. Herein lies the adventures and mishaps of Jamie Kelly, a disgruntled middle schooler inhabiting a world of semi-realism and semi-nightmarish fantasy whose detailed descriptions and illustrations may or may not be exaggerated. Last week we got a one-star review that was so accidentally entertaining to the team that they decided to share it with the world: Seriously. Everyone should read this book. This poor woman has to deal with a ton of shit in her life, yet moves through it all with a witty comment (or severely awkward thought/realization/idea/story that shuts up everyone around her) and some really good prescription drugs.

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And that’s how I ended up shoulder-deep in a cow’s vagina, squishing out the semen baster as a bunch of teenage boys looked on. It was the closest I’d ever come to doing porn. When Jenny says: "I was stabbed in the face by a serial killer!" She means: "The cat sat on my head while I was asleep." I *really* wanted to like this book. Maybe diehard devotees of Jenny Lawson's blog might like it more than I. I thought some of her essays were great, but couldn't stand an entire book of her. It was just... too forced. Has Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) turned you off from other books in this genre?

Skull and crossbones on this one if you're easily offended. So no whiners, okay? I mean it. Just....no whining. Even when I was funny, I wasn’t this funny.”—Augusten Burroughs, author of Running with Scissors and This Is How Seventh, the stories Jenny Lawson tells are, in turns: crushingly honest, funny, witty, sweet, heartbreaking, and delightfully bizarre. Sixth, she made me cry reading this. Three times. Now admittedly, I seem to be rather soppy lately. But even given my recent emotional fragility, that's a mark of good writing some good writing.

Things aren't quite as strange (or as funny) after Lawson grows up, gets married and has a kid. (Hell, even I managed to do those things...) It may seem that she and her husband spend an inordinate amount of time talking about zombies, rodents and chupacabras, but once you've been married for over ten years, there really is nothing else to talk about. My husband and I once had a conversation much like the one below, only I was the one unwilling to donate my organs...just in case, you know... i love that she curses as much as i do. and talks about her vagina frequently. in many ways, we are the saaaaaame. we should get a drink together. wait, is that creepy? whatever.