I’ll never forget it. He fired up some 420 and started toking. Before I knew it, we were swapping head up against the trunk of a Chevy Impala. Some guys end up giving brojobs to one another because they are confined in the same space together. This is a very common experience in the military.

I returned to my friend's house last night. This was the first time I'd seen him since the incident last week. I had been mentally preparing myself for a few days leading up to this visit, trying to put that incident out of my mind and act like this was just any other visit. That's easier said than done.One thing I love doing that I’m not ashamed to admit is swallowing a straight guy’s load. You’ll hear all sorts of stuff online but I’m here to tell you these guys taste amazing. What marked the beginning of the end of our friendship? Was it the sexual encounter? Was it the confrontation (no more plausible deniability on his part)? Was it the fact that I told Doug? Was Doug really the "glue" of our friendship, and when he left Jeff and I had nothing much in common?

Forgive yourself for what happened. There is nothing you can do to change it, and there is no point in living in regret. Take a vow to do what you must to repair your friendship and ensure that it never happens again. I'm not gay, I hadn't even done anything with a man before. But when I was horny, my mind just went to the idea of being on my knees and pleasing a man with my mouth. I decided to confide in a mutual straight friend (we’ll call him "Doug") because I felt like I needed to talk to somebody I trusted and who was familiar with Jeff. I thought I could trust Doug not say anything, and he didn’t for about 6 months. Then one day Doug and Jeff got into a heated argument, and Doug brought up what I had told him about Jeff. Doug did this just to be hurtful to Jeff, but of course it had serious implications for me as well.He was so big I could only get an inch past the head into my mouth but I did my best to please him. Bobbing up and down whilst on my knees. Your friend likely regrets that this situation took place just as much as you do. He probably knows that you remember some of what happened that night, and he’s probably worried about your friendship just as much as you are. Try to act normal around him, and remember how important your friendship is. The more you act normal around him (even if it feels weird on the inside), the more it will genuinely start to feel normal again. This will take time, but I promise that it’s worth it for the sake of your friendship. I’m definitely attracted to this guy, and I guess hooking up with him was always a fantasy of mine. But I tried to keep that fantasy out of my mind as much as possible because I valued his friendship so much. I wanted to see him as a good friend, not as the object of some fantasy. I thought that would only cause problems with the friendship, regardless of whether he knew about the fantasy or not.